Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Congratulations! We have a period
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