my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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