I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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