I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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