do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
