i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
