There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
