Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
