false alarm. still invincible.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
