Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
