we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
