A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
