I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
