he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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