I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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