My room smells like vodka and shame
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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