Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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