mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
