Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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