carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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