I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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