How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
