I met the friendliest cop last night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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