i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
