she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
