Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
