Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
