I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When are your genitals available?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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