We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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