I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
