I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
