I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
