is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
