physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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