Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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