i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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