Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize