She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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