glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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