she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
