Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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