im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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