Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize