Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
