hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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