I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Randomize
