It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i believe in u and ur pee
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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