My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
