I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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