dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize