Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
