Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
