At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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