i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My liver just had a heart attack.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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