well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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