At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
