Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize