I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
