This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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