yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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