Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
