i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
